Should Bernice Get An Apology?

I’m in hot water with some of my loved ones because they feel that I was unduly harsh toward Bernice, the subject of a previous post (Who’s Helping The Poor?) Bernice’s mother and father have been surrogate parents to my children, and I love and trust them. It’s a parent’s instinct to always protect FullSizeRender (3)their child, even after the child is an adult. This is doubly true of fathers and daughters. My husband tells me that although his daughter (from a previous marriage) has grown children of her own, he still feels protective of her. Parenting is a learn-as-you-go proposition, and that doesn’t change when kids are grown up, the dynamic just transforms. As the mother of three daughters between the ages of 20 – 26, I’m in the thick of that transition with my own, I get it. I am not, however, offering an apology, and I’ll tell you why. Perhaps then, you’ll give me your take on it.


I think the major point of contention is that Bernice is still young and sees the world in idealistic terms, through rose-colored glasses with rainbows and unicorns. (On a side note, this didn’t stop her from giving me the business when she thought she had me in a “Gotcha”!) As I mentioned in the previous writing, many of us went through similar phases as we matured. My belief is that in 2016, however, we are seeing fundamental differences between thirty years ago, when I was a senior in college, and now. The culture has evolved, the state of our country and global interests are in flux, and although political adversity itself is unchanged, the political climate is very different.


The first difference to consider is our public school system, which has slowly but steadily transitioned to curriculum that is heavily infused and informed by global and social justice. This movement has been evolving in schools for over half a century, but since technology has become integral to our lives, it’s been moving at lightning speed. Secondly, the internet, smart phones, and social media have drastically changed the political landscape. By way of example, there were gay students when I went to school, of course, but the gay community as a whole really came together online and was able to spur a vocal, focused movement to affect change socially, culturally, and politically in record time. Thus the LGBT community was born, and they are by no means alone. All kinds of groups are harnessing the power of the internet. Since liberal political thought is generally the purview of a younger demographic, young tech-savvy liberals enjoyed an organic head start on creating a strong political presence on the internet. College campuses were a homogeneous and logical target, and the Democratic Party lost no time in capitalizing on the market.


Getting back to Bernice, yes she is young, but she is old enough to drink and vote, so she’s of age to hear the truth. Plenty of men and women younger than her are laid to rest in our nation’s cemeteries after giving, as President Lincoln said, “the last full measure” for their country. The young girls from Austria that ran away to join ISIS are dead at the age of 17, duped by effective messaging. No, Bernice is not in any physical danger resulting from her liberal mindset, but corrupt and disingenuous people are using her to further their agenda. Yes, it was just a silly meme. I could have written the post and left her out of it. Meanwhile she would have no impetus to think twice before continuing to post lies and bad stereotypes of conservatives.


Thirdly, we’ve allowed liberals to control the message about who we are and what sets us apart. They call us racists, homophobes, xenophobes, haters, and other nasty barbs with which I won’t sully the page. We have gone about our lives, convinced that we would be vindicated through the way we live and work. That’s not what’s happened. We let a thousand silly things go by without comment, and before we even realized, we were put in a box, categorized, smeared, and put on the defensive. Conservatives lost the PR war because we just let them trash us, watched it getting personal, and didn’t fight back. Conservatives must stand.


The best defense is a good offense, and I believe it is a huge mistake to allow this behavior to continue, thinking these kids will wise up as they mature. They have been propagandized for years. I doubt there’s anybody in Bernice’s circle who isn’t thinking and walking in lockstep, and they’re going to vote. I’m no longer counting on them to outgrow this. One of my own was a staunch pro-life advocate. She too has been slowly manipulated and now is supporting Bernice on her rabid, diehard rants about the necessity of Planned Parenthood and the evil conservatives that are trying to defund it. This group of rose-colored glasses wearing millennials will be a sizable liberal voting bloc this year. This is not an accident. This is liberals playing dirty, and playing for keeps.


The last difference is that our kids are deeply indoctrinated – it’s nothing like when I was in my last year of college. It starts in the lower grades and they’re well on their way when they get to college. Her professors should prod her to question things and see different perspectives, but that’s not happening in higher education anymore. Sad, especially considering the price.


I didn’t expect Bernice would like what I wrote, but I did hope that it would make her think. I still have that hope. She knows that she’s posting provocative stuff, and she’s old enough to be responsible for her actions. She’s speaking ill of most of her family and not by accident. A suggestion for her and other young liberals with conservative parents: replace the words conservative and Republican with a picture of Dad or Mom. Is that the way Dad behaves? Is that how you see your parents? Does that really seem like something your mother would say? It might help them to see that these generalities are just wrong, a lie.


Bernice is an avid reader so I’ll suggest some reading material. Losing Ground by Charles Murray, is a history of charitable giving, the social welfare system, and the effects of both on the populace then and now. Secondly I’d suggest Rules for Radicals by Saul Alinsky, the man whose theories have guided Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. It is brilliant, as well as shocking, to realize that so much of what we’re seeing is not happenstance. Finally, I’d strongly recommend a book that is consistently ranked second, behind The Bible, as the book most likely to change your life: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. A personal favorite of mine, this is a work of fiction by a woman who grew up in the Socialist/Communist Revolution in Russia. You don’t have to agree with her philosophy, but the book brings liberal socialist theories into stark relief, and illustrates perfectly the corruption, cronyism, and folly of big government and restrictive regulation that cannot sustain itself. Her writing is not my favorite in terms of flow and sentence structure, but as English was not her first language, that is explanation enough for me. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Bernice’s left-wing friends who know the book tell her not to read it, that it’s awful, boring, ridiculous and wrong. When pressed these people most often have never read the book. Knowledge frightens liberals because the ideology they’re touting is based on emotion, but as Ben Shapiro of The Daily Wire says, “Facts don’t have feelings.” Great line.


I understand that this may seem cold to Bernice and her family, but these are adult issues with adult consequences. This year will see perhaps the most important election of my lifetime. This is not a game. Our economy is in the tank and bordering on collapse, the dollar is in very real danger of being replaced as the reserve currency of the world, there has been a concerted effort to subvert our Constitution, barbaric terrorists actively seek the opportunity to kill us and collapse “The Great Satan”, an avowed Socialist is openly campaigning for the Presidential nomination (we’d never have seen that ten years ago, let alone thirty); the future of our federalist system hangs in the balance. We are the only such system in the world. Our Constitutional framework has brought us through great trials, and lifted our exceptional country to lead the world in every category. If we fail and our nation falls, there is nowhere else for us to go. So, even among those I love, I’m not willing to ignore the lies being propagated by the left. If my own children were posting this crap, it would have been them in my cross-hairs.


Politics is a blood sport, so if Bernice wants to climb into the ring, she’ll want to pad up. I tempered what I wrote out of love for her, but felt strongly that the record be set straight. If she’s going to get involved in politics, she’ll see things said that are downright ugly, and directed right at her. Running away and saying I’m mean and hurtful is precisely what happens when young people exist in a garden of fantastical liberal thought, where trigger warnings and safe spaces are the expectation. That is not how the big, bad, real world works.


She’s blocked me on Facebook so I can’t hurt her again and that’s a shame. I didn’t write the blog in anger or to be mean-spirited. Learning things about how others view you can sting, especially from someone close, but when it happens to me I’d much rather hear it from a loved one who sincerely wants the best for me that life can offer. In real life one rarely escapes a problem, and eventually one learns to attack it head on. I’m disappointed that she didn’t hit me back. She didn’t try to defend herself. Maybe she couldn’t come up with a good response because engaging in character assassination is indefensible; there’s no argument, and no debate. ‘That’s what everyone else is doing’ is not a valid excuse. That’s the lesson. She’s a big girl now and old enough to learn it.


What do you think? Have I been too harsh? Please share your thoughts.




6 thoughts on “Should Bernice Get An Apology?

  1. It seems to me that the second post was unnecessary if “Bernice” has cut off communication. She clearly has no desire to continue this disagreement; to revisit the issue is like beating a dead horse. Although some things may be true in what you said, it was rude to create a whole blog post that attacks her, instead you should take the time to educate her. Your original post comes off as severely critical. If she is family and you truly do love her as you say you do, you should have taken a less offensive and more neutral approach to this issue. As elders it is our duty to educate and nurture the youth, not defame and criticize them.

  2. In my opinion, Bernice deserves an apology for being bashed in a public forum. In my conservative family, we don’t do that to family. If we have a lesson we wish to teach or an opposing viewpoint to express, we do it one on one. Politics should be discussed and, if necessary, both parties agree to disagree. But the fact that you are so sure of your infallibility and correctness that there is no room for an opposing view is sad, narrow minded, and against everything our founding fathers stood for.

  3. Julie, you are correct about your senior year in college, but what you left out is that none of us would intentionally disrespect, or harm anyone. Choices have consequences, positive choices lead to positive consequences, negative choices lead to negative consequences. No, she doesn’t deserve an apology. Just my opinion.

  4. Agree to disagree, but mostly disagree. You talk about the school curriculum and how kids these days are becoming more socially and globally aware through school, and I assume by your tone and choice of wording, you are very against it. It is absurd for you to suggest that it is bringing down our education system. Our kids need to know about the world rather than be sheltered in the past. History is today. History is tomorrow. Can I remind you what civil rights movement was happening half a century ago when I guess everything started going downhill in our education system. This generation of young adults are growing up and questioning everything wrong with this world. They have their own opinion, their own voices. Whether you want to believe it or not, they are the future of this country. Perhaps you should be the one considering the other side before you start spewing your own words. Patronizing other will get you nowhere in life. Political correctness also seems to be a hot issue with you. How are you going to complain about liberals complaining when you obviously have no restrictions. (obviously since you have this blog) You deny the need for political correctness yet feel lambasted. Sometimes, you need to look at things as a human being. If you are not willing to give her respect, why should she give you any effort or time.

  5. Words, actions and deeds speak volumes and have consequences. When an opinion is expressed freely, it is open to commentary including those with opposing views. Bernice should not expect an apology rather she should be thankful for the opportunity to learn a important lesson. She’s not at that point now but perhaps with the passage of time she will come out of the tunnel and understand the value of two way dialogue. I hope so.

    A good analogy here is that viewpoints are like vehicles on a roadway. They travel in both directions sometimes on a road that is clear and smooth driving and sometimes on a road riddled with pot holes and speed bumps. Whichever road you are on you are always in the driver’s seat and in full control. You chose your own path as do those traveling on the opposite side of the road. We travel the same road in different cars, directions and at different speeds but the bridge we build is our respect for individual beliefs, opinions and sometimes even an “agree to disagree” mentality. We can’t force others to think & feel the way we do even when we’re fiercely committed to our own belief.

    People have all types of viewpoints and that is the way it’s supposed to be. Best practice is simply to pick your battles carefully and determine if the fight and sacrifices are worthy of your time & attention. Choose wisely.

Please comment respectfully! Nobody likes a bully...